8月29日~~

世界上应该没有多少个人
会因为自己想出来的活动
而感动到流泪的吧？

哈哈
明天就是明天了
大家紧张的气氛
同时。。。
很不舍很不舍超级不舍
。。。
我的ex队长和partner都走了:(..
sad case... D;...
but anyway..
想要自己做东西给他们叻;D..
but then看时间吧。。
现在11.30了:O..

明天。。
:)
期待~。。

Today's Song:
Domino - Jessie J



to someone i care ....
i'm sorry i can't be beside you ..
when you need someone by yourself
i'm sorry
i should have look for you
when i know that
for the first time..

u knw?
The way you said it sounded like someone :)
i wish i could give you a hug
but every time i see you
it's just...
not possible ..

hey, and you know that
i will support you ..
no matter what choices you make..
:)
but just be sure..
that freedom is what you really want..
 :)
and not just something that is nice to hold on to...
nite..

8月28日~~

no matter how hard it is..
with them by my side..
all my worries..
seems to have burn in ashes..
and ....
......
suddenly.....
.....
i'm me again....
....
the best part is...
'it' seems as light as a feather ....
and i almost forgot all about 'it'
just by being with them....


good luck guys...
remember what we say..
and then GO FOR IT :)

Today's Songs:
Who's Laughing Now-- Jessie J
Part Of Me-- Katy Perry


few hours for me to calm down..
and ...
i finally did...
serenity....
peaceful
but ...
nostalgic...

everything is so clear ...
even though it has been two years...
i remember that freakin starbucks..
that freakin memo pad
and most of all
i remembered her... jean....
i have no idea...
but...
:)
i just smiled...
with a teardrop hanging in my eye
:')
i did it...
i have made it to this day...
jean...
this is for you ...
.....
this is for me...
....
this is for US....
......
being with you side by side...
with each other to count on ...
that kind of TRUST
is absolutely priceless...

every single push ...(reminds me of that song Push - avril lavigne)
push me to another level of imagination..
hard and pain it may be..
cruel and cold it may be...
it is still a push...
and whats more...
i thank her for pushing :)
jing...
thank you ...
:)
i've learnt my lesson..
although maybe not as much as you do..
but i will try my best..
to be like you :)

back then..
those pushes... are like a constant hitting of soft pillow that pushes you
soft and comfortable.. and takes some time to push..
but yet.. you will be pushed..
now..
those pushes... are like hard wooden poles that pushes you in one shot
hard and pain.. you might end up black and blue and might not even go far..
but you will stand up..
and walk away yourself...

8月26日~~

Today's Song:
Nothing--- The Script...
and all the other 'the script''s songs
breakeven, the man who can't be moved.. and etc.

i know it makes no sense ..

but the thing that makes me so INTO this song..

is that the say he express his emotions..

in a song...

which i wish to do so..

if i have a chance

8月25日~~

so the pressure is REALLY on..
but somehow..
i feel so ... unusually.... warm and ... well
i don't think i had it for some time now...
today..
i finally realized...
what i had to realize ...
what makes me proud to be who I am ..

Thanks guys ;).. for letting me remember...
and for letting me know that
all those constant reminders from myself to me..
well...
actually make sense ..
you guys are the best..
have total faith in you guys...

i finally know
bond or no bond ..
we are linked together by heart
with a more or less same passion that flows within our blood
and nothing can pull us apart

i don't care if this holiday ain't a holiday..
i seriously don't :)
because....
it is worth it...
and that is what holidays are meant to be...
to make me realize that
the fact that
me
still breathing
and typing over here
actually means something
although not to the world
but at least in a small tiny puny nano size community
that hardly anyone else would care for
yet
means a whole lot to me and them
never regretted ...
never.... :)

8月23日~~

I'm losing grasp....
lost .. confused... i don't know.. just...
lost it ...
i know i have things not done..
and i know that i haven't stopped doing things ...
but yet....
nothing is done....
what happened to me?...

GAWD...
its like hanging on the monkey bar for 10 minutes.
and your hand is sore..
the bar is metal with paint that wears off..
the rust that burns your hand ..
and you feel immediate contact with the rough surface of the monkey bar

 you feel like letting go..
yet...
below you ..
is a sea of lava...
and you know .. you can't let go.. but you just have to..
if it were only physically ...
all you have to do .. is hold tightly.. ignoring the pain .. and the blood that flows within ..
but ..
if it were emotionally ... internally...
losing grasp..
no muscle can save you ...
..
...
that is the worse part..
letting fear conquer your body ...
feel angry at yourself but yet you think that you can't control it...
you feel that every single motivation is like a punch in the stomach and means nothing but sarcasm
you feel that every single pat on the back is like a cold eye from them ...
you feel that... non of them are real...
well...
and let fear continuously conquer your body...
closing your heart within.. to battle the fearsome 'monster'
its  hard..
but a must to try to open your heart..
and allow people to help you...
and trust them....
not trust them but keep an eye on them..
but completely trust them ..
have your backs to each other.. and fight that'monster'
without having to fear of the'back-stabbing'
when learning to trust..
people open their heart..
and sooner..
fear will lose.. like evil is always on the losing side..
and only BY then..
you will have THAT grasp again...

when .. can i have it back....?
well..
i guess i just answered my own question ...

today's song:
Breakeven by The Script.. i guess....

8月21日~~

因为某些缘故。。
提醒了我。。。
月尾了。。（不是重点）

（女生就懂发生什么事=w=）

今天6点多全家人和表弟表妹去UTAR（拉曼大学）参观
woah!
大舅的带领下我们就这样出发了
本来以为很近罢了。。
结果。。。
我错了=w=..
我：我们从这里去那里要多久阿？
爸：还蛮近的，2个小时左右
我：蛮近？？！！
okay..本小姐打错特措。。
就这样去了霹雳。。
结果吓倒了的说0.0
那里的security guard说
因为是public holiday 所以没有开放给外人进入参观
只能坐在车里面绕
OMG~!
大舅是那里的staff也被吓到了~一直想办法说服他们
不过怎样讲
那里也蛮大的，
不够security人手，万一我们这些人
去那里不是参观，是做什么奇怪的事情，他们也很难应付~
所以没什么啦:)
不过重点！我发现~我之前讲的Green IT，真正的course名
是Engineering and Green Tech...
也就是说。。
如果我真的要往这方面发展。。
我就会是一个Engineer..
=0=
本小姐可是做梦都没有想过。。
竟然未来的要做一个工程师?!LOLL...
成何体统也？！
（我是女生也:$）
爸后来说，你前几天讲你要读化工的时候
都已经代表你要读的东西包含着engineering的意思了啊
因为化工=chemical engineering（是哦？=w= ）

吃了午餐去看铁船
在那里和他们篇了很多莫名其妙的恐怖片，鬼片，纪录片等。。
LOL..
看到了一个TOP洗衣粉的盒子
我们还在那里讲了5分钟，
说什么这1889年的盒子（之后才懂，那时这个铁船根本就还没存在）
怎么到现在还没腐烂
难道因为这里是bacteria-free environment..?!
我一面讲一面露出很O.O的样子
还讲到很macam yes的英文腔~
结果给我表弟顶了一句。。
yea? well .. why don't you do some research on THAT spider..(指向旁边的蜘蛛网) I bet it would be more interesting then YOUR "TOP"
我: what do YOU KNOW?!.. it is a HUNDRED-YEAR-OLD SPIDER?!!... but i don't think it could be more interesting than the BACTERIA-FREE environment over here... I gotta keep doing some research..
with my very historical minded brain .... (bla bla bla )
哈哈~
很多莫名奇妙的垃圾
=w=
吹水吹了很久~
发现3点了
是时候回家了
竟然大塞车~
4个小时后到家~
哈哈途中经过cameron highlands的入口处
爸问我们要不要在那里过夜？反正也没有很赶时间
ahem ahem..
开始讲的时候，他们都很兴奋。。
but then爸认真时，全部人竟然不敢讲话哈哈哈~
他就蛮失望的说~sad case :(

Today's Song:
我们的故事--周杰伦，陶喆

PS..我可以讲话(讲话正常的意思) 了:D..
不过还是唱不到歌:(

很难想象。。。

原来我的心情是那么容易被让人左右~任人摆布~

。。。

。。。

。。。

哈哈。。

。。。

。。。

一通电话，管它是1分钟，5分钟，1个小时，还是2个小时。。

一次车程，管它是20分钟，2个小时，3个小时，还是4个小时。。

一首歌，管它是原唱，还是翻唱。。

一封简讯，管它是长，还是短。。

总是都有办法

让我的心情起伏变化很大

这是我觉得奇妙的地方

我可以突然很热血

想突然完成很多东西

做很多令人意想不到的事情

却也能突然想与世隔绝

却总是过不了自己那关

就连说话那么普通的东西

对我来说

都是那么的矛盾那么的逞强

原来我那么的普通？究竟什么时候才能像他们？

恐怖的不是拥有改变一切的权力，
而是有此权力却不知道自己要改变的究竟是什么

也不知道自己要改变的原因是什么

8月18日~~

我要的不是顺利，而是另类

最近几天被爸妈禁足~
除了和家人之外
绝对不能出去
包括学校。。

顺利。。
只要小心，有规划就行了~
'okay ' 不是我要的，我要的是 ‘哇！’
可是这一点讲时容易，做时难
报告出来了，
我也被呆掉了
我觉得
很棒~:)
可是。。
却因为一些琐碎的原因
把那些东西给简单化了。。
为了几个不配合的家伙
为了时间不够用
。。。
只要有心
要你明天吐一份生活营的完整报告
你一定呕的出来

这是曾经有人跟我说过的话
。。。

哈哈~
之前曾为了一些原因
放弃了一个坚持很久的东西
导致身边的人。。
因此受伤
导致他们的梦想
破碎

我不想历史重演
尤其是在这种场合上
绝对，不
我答应了自己
我一定做到

不要包庇那些人了
不对就是不对
适时不笑，就不笑
放心，我们有自己的办法
不需操心



Good Luck!
We are right behind you..

8月17日~~

早：做到1点多还是没办法完成~
只好睡了~
真希望。。可以被批~
如果不被批~
感觉应该比作料N个24小时的mobile apps competition没进决赛的心情
夸张N倍~
希望希望希望~。。。
break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams...

today's song:
usher
You'll be in my heart~
Train
Drive By

午：Currently listening to Hey, Soul Sister...
Ahh.. memories :)... photos... :D.... them X)....

傍晚：Now Jason Mraz: 93 million miles
.....

晚：Pink-- So What
        Kelly Clarkson-- What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

再一个充满喜怒哀乐的一天。。extreme。。

please.. can i kill my hp?

8月15日~~

假期了？？。。 没知觉叻:O...

but then... 哈哈~我还是会乖乖在家里读书的:3..

我大考必须拼回来！！

:D...

keep 着keep 着~

今天放学。。

将近所有的东西~

解决方案都出来了。。

大家都回家准备各自的工作。。

接下来。。

就是落实的时间了;)..

如果。。

真的有办法实行。。

那恭喜我们再次创造了２个历史（团内和团外）

希望可以落实:)...

可以改变未来的东西～

大家都豁出去呗～^^

忘了说。。我的piano grade 8 ... 拿到merit 叻0.0
stunned~
pass 我都谢天谢地了TwT..感谢考官开明。。
哈哈虽然前两首歌很烂==弹不好~。。。

KEEP HOLDING ON ...

AVRIL :D.....




Today's song...
 THE REMEDY --- Jason Mraz :)

8月14日~~

Stalk yourself once in a while
Always remember how much you went through to achieve that special something
Although you might not always be the winner
 But you will always be the 'PARTICIPANT'
That participant who took part in the 'marathon to success'
Remember the light bulb that you once were...
Remember?
One light bulb .... is just another light bulb,
but one hundred light bulbs..... is a SUN~
We might not be the light bulb we use to be...
Now ~ we are only a sprint of light ~
struggling in the wind~
however ... together ... we can still be a light bulb :)





Remember...
 we all used to have a fire within us ~...
small it may be .. it is still a fire~..

Don't be blinded by the things around you
We always thought that someone else blindfolded us ~
but to tell you the truth..
we are the ones. who blindfolded ourselves
not the devil, not your family, not your friends, not you teachers, not anyone...
but YOU


But remember this...
STAY STRONG,
STAY FOCUS,
and IGNORE THE PAIN :)

You can't have a rainbow without a little rain ~:)


Someone once told me
Don't tell me if you can reach for the moon, 
You only reach for the clouds :O
for some freaky reason.. i think he is right..
that stranger i've just met
...
was right..


I can't be always right..
I can't be always wrong..
but it is damn wrong..
to the something that you know is wrong...

but whatever it is..
have faith in yourself...
have hope in yourself


You are not as weak as you think you are
and you are stronger than you think you are 
so just stand up and face your problems...


remember there is always a pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow


GOOD LUCK :)

中华日:DD + 8月13日~~

整个星期为了这个中华日~

熬了夜，缺了课，被骂，被称赞等。。各种各样的场景~

呵呵

不过一切都值得。。。。

话说这是我的第二次中华日:)
初一因为那时还没招收实习
根本都没机会参加中华日awww D;...
不过初二就有机会拉:D..一来就是带家长了~
我没试过‘驻守’的感觉:P..
不过应该还算okay吧？也许不比带家长有趣~但是还是觉得有他自己的挑战性~
对那个地方要完完全全熟悉哦:O..
实习基本上都是负责这个环节+ 固守书展+协助我和学警团布置场地~
谢谢你们呀;)。。没有你们，这个中华日~就不够完整了:D..
还有谢谢老师们，演艺团体，各个服务团体~辛苦他们了~
熬过多少夜~不是他们是不可能体会到的:)

以前初二可以带5 组家长以上
bt nw不懂是不是因为年纪大了比较罗嗦还是什么
我竟然整天只带了2组半？！
半组as in带到一半就带他们到光前堂观礼~
那就是第一组，在中华日正式开始之前带的一组

之后的一组
哈哈，纯粹是意外。。
那时有实习的父亲要找他
我的电话没钱，也没有实习的驻守名单只好说声
i will take it from here然后告诉蔚发生了什么事~
就这样，带了讲英文的家长=w=前一天蔚和rose来我家还在那里笑我
讲如果真的遇到这种家长他们会直接讲：Welcome to Chong Hwa,
Now I will introduce you to my friend here , Yee Ting... Thank you and have a nice day
没想到，我竟然把自己送到虎口，蔚都没机会说这句话~
=w=
那时时间是10.50多分~
我刚布置完场地感谢大家的服务
一路走一路讲，就这样说了2个小时0.0...从班级里有分总务，文书，股长到每年的活动，到各个地点有什么东西，到每个布告板讲的东西，到每个地点的特点和使用方式，到学校的各处，到学会活动，到各个学习课程，到教育制度，到老师，到同学还有很多很多的到~。。
我完全都用英文跟他们说~
but讲真的我也不是那种死死介绍自己学校有多好多好的那种啦~:)
适时也会称赞或建议别的学校的，
隆中华到底适不适合他们的孩子~就要看他们的心态和自己的乐趣咯;)
前几天在赵老师那2个小时教我们如何介绍中华的时候，
我都已经告诉学长们~不要因为老师没有放我们的照片而感觉自己被冷落，
自己的贡献没被发现，我们不是用照片来证明，我们是用行动来证明:)
所以同样的我在用我的热情来打动他们的心~;D
带到12点多要到1点多，本来打算继续带家长的可是后来发现8块钱的coupun
1.30就不能使用的，之后用完7块钱:D...
来买有的没的的东西=w=
有一条蓝色的鱼曾经说过，
服务时最爽就是一起吃东西的感觉xD
我想对她说~
我有吃东西的please :D...你自己也要照顾好自己，照顾别人的同时，也要懂得如何照顾自己~。。尤其是夜睡得问题，你很严重:O...懂得在适当的时候say 'yes' and 'no':)

一吃完，吹了一下水就用剩余的coupun (rose那里一堆=w=)放我们飞机的学长的coupun来买水
给学长喝~
我们还玩玩笑讲我们可以用这瓶水来贿赂那些小六生~LOL...哈哈

2点多，我带了讲华文的家长，我竟然讲到4pm non stop 0.0还有老师家长请我喝水xD。。
我不知道要给什么反应不过他们太棒的说;D..
现在用着电话，没法enter...清场的时候，再次发生小状况. 算了吧~也不是第一次。=w= 不想解释. 反正也不关我们的事。。呵呵~ 带完全程的两家都讲我成熟哦0.0(<<看到这里不要笑=w=我feel到你在笑LOL). 不过我还是扮演好我诚实宝宝的角色告诉他们，actually im quite childish =w= 他们坚持我也没办法lol:P 给人家讲我性感的眼睛和充满杀气的红眼~ 到最后我还鱼到破音 谢谢那些关心我的学长和朋友:)我会好好照顾自己的;) 当天在8点多在床上阵亡，好想直接让自己大病一场 但是时机不允许~我也没办法:Pdelay下我的大计划， 7.30am~4.30pm的服务我真的很快乐:)
不过当天没办法7点晚上去打羽球真的很对不起哦~ 我爸妈不给，况且我也阵亡了~第二天 也就是今天，本想看医生，结果因为时间上的缘故，委屈你啦宝贝眼球:P 今天是欢送会和anim8tor day~ 希望大家都顺利咯:)继续加油!! 对了今天是某人的生日，生日快乐:) 今天也没办法和你庆祝。。对不起咯:( 今天又是个无法阵亡的一天~撑下去豁出去吧!!!!!! getting emotional these days~
i laugh easily, get angry easily, down easily, and get over it easily, but man....
this sucks... being emotional... is really not my thing :(..
maybe it's time ...for me to change my personality :/ ... again ?... i don't know ~....
perhaps i shud.. just .... calm down.....
and know what I want..

8月10日~~

When focusing on some stuff (maybe important, maybe big, maybe small, maybe just random),
its really very easy to forget some other stuff that means a lot to you

well might be a little harsh on the criticism today~
but i really do hope that you guys can give us the best ~
It's really just ... sad.. to know that well .... you just don't know how brilliant , how great you each are ~
It's really heart breaking ~
I really hope that you guys can do the best and do well in the future~
sorry if i were too hard on you guys~
:)
anyway ...
Remember what we said
and do your best, talk with confidence~That's what we want
don't give me that face that literally had the word'I am so busted' written all over it
That wouldn't do you any good, that just gives us a better excuse to criticise

Remember
You Are BRAVER than you believe,
STRONGER than you seem,
and SMARTER than you think :).... 

wish i can see that in myself....

8月8日~~

Always remember the REASON
no matter how hard the PROCESS may be..
or maybe how hard the process might try to make you change your mind
then the RESULT.. might just come out.. ~

Grab hold of the girl who was inside me..
while holding onto the girl who I am now~....

Get well soon to me :)..

8月5日~~

今天下午有一点点小兴奋。。。
okay...不是小兴奋，使莫名的大兴奋xDD
谁叫我不小心想到中华日和班旅:P

我已经期待中华日很久下料~
每次想到要带家长与小六生参观中华
都会很兴奋很兴奋~
4年料，哈哈
想到更多能说得话了:DD
从班上的制度，班委，每年的大小型活动，趣事，学校的上下课，各种演艺团体的表演，竞赛团体的表现，五花八门的学会，班旅班刊班服，运动会，越野，筹款，考试制度（体育和音乐都有考试），各种神奇的比赛（跟小学“只要唱得好就能拿奖”差很远哦^^），学生越来越夸张的想像能力现实化，各种建筑，建筑里的每一间课室是怎样的，有新讲堂，Multimedia room, 电脑室（我说定anim8tor了xD）,食堂，老师举办的小小活动（想到了ms yap =0=），校服，宿舍，宿舍的活动，学会的活动，学生突如起来想筹办的小活动 等等等等。。。。（讲不完please）
后来才发现其实学校一向来都那么多姿多彩呵呵~只是我常被一些琐碎细小的缺陷而被蒙上了蒙眼布，看不见这些每一天的多姿多彩:)。。。。。
一想到就很兴奋
说实在我越想就越赞同那句话：
母校就是你一天可以抱怨它800次，
却不允许任何人说它一句坏话的地方:D

另一个兴奋的原因很有可能是因为听太多disney的歌，看太多disney的戏=w= Under The Sea :DD

李宗伟输了
但输得好看~:)
这是一场很棒很棒的比赛~
我看了真的很震撼~
虽然如此看到了他的眼泪，他的挫折感
我不自觉有了同理心~
相信无论谁也很难能够安慰他了~
强忍着眼泪站上奖台，
天啊~那时怎么样的感觉~
很复杂的感觉><...
心痛不是因为没有假期没有雪糕没有赢
心痛的是因为他的眼泪
我feel到了他的痛
那种无法替代的心痛~
想回去。。。。 这只会是一个美丽的遗憾
:)
李宗伟，你并不是输，你只是没有赢到那个渡上金的奖牌
但是你却“赢”得了大家的支持，
让大家看到其实~原来大家都很不自觉地爱国
不自觉地团结~
你看得出自己的厉害在哪了吗？
你已经不小心把整个国家团结在一起
不管他们是抱着什么心态看着这场球赛
但是
大家都在此时此刻拥有了同样的希望
没错，
没有了你，
大家也许也不会发现原来。。
马来西亚也是我们一天可以抱怨800次
却不允许任何人说它一句坏话的地方:)



现在过滤着欢送会的歌，
有些可以触碰我的心><
感触跟着来，眼泪也差不多了:')...
有些却不能。。
呵呵明天和其他三个讨论吧;)

8月4日~~

okay~
结果还是要病不病了==
lulu：you look like a dead fish...
我：yeah i know~.. but i'm not dead yet , i'm dying~
noob和lulu一直叫我不要做功课
结果我也不能顶了
既然今天有一堂课没老师进来，那就睡吧~
今天还蛮多老师迟进班的说，
给我休息的机会~
虽然没有睡到很死~
but多少还有一点拉:)

也许也因此伤害了我身边的人><
对不起~
今天的态度有点冷漠
~
:(
我会尽量改进的okay ?:)


临小了，
至于MIT的由来久给团员们自己发挥他们的想像能力吧:D

ok~done...
i know i'm not perfect
but i'm still trying to be perfect :)..
please... i just need some time~
><
just some more time.....
will do the trick
please... have faith in me :) and in us~

8月3日~~

okay draft越来越多料=w=
等我人舒服一点了我才继续写那些draft
paiseh neh ><

明天就进临小了~
不晓得大家带着什么心情进入临小？:)
但都希望能够给于常委最大的配合:D
否则一切都是废的;)
没有你们就没有我们:D
临小加油！！:DD
今天不要为了临小名单睡不着觉哦:P

关于班旅嘛~感觉上好像永远也没办法投票了@@
没关系，山人自有妙计:D
对于这次的班旅抱有超过100%的信心绝对能成功:D
谢谢你们重视它:）

今天的状况不是很好~
不过哎呀~
没有酱容易生病的啦~
可以delay到假期时才生病没？:P
let's hope so :D

哈哈~
最近常缺课，很多东西都开始有点懵懂了~
现在努力K化学，哈哈K完了就做作业吧:)
昨天为了某人不小心12点多睡觉==
本来可以早睡的呵呵~算了吧:D

Umbrella can't stop the rain,

but make us stand in the rain.

Confidence may not bring success,

But gives power to face any challenge in life :)

8月1日~~

Got a few drafts save in my blog....
everytime when i feel like writing
there is always that 'SOMETHING' that stopped me from doing so...
stopping me from smiling
bringing me to my blues :(...
today..
i kinda used some time to get myself back :)
although today is still not a blogging day for me..
i still wanna introduce some 'warm and cosy' music :)

Yesterday's mood :
Push-- Avril Lavigne

Today's Mood:
Safe and Sound-- Jayeslee
Right Here Waiting-- Richard Marx

I can't say much ...
but..
I'm willing to pay the price~ :)...