My last working day (Tuesday after a holiday) was uneventful
Unlike my last working week (before the holiday) where I had graduation goggles on.
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Last Wednesday I went to the London office for the last time.
The team was really sweet, they got me a handwritten card that everyone wrote, a cake, a pen, a leather book, a storage box and a nice lunch.
I told them that I'll dearly miss the people that I work with and I meant it.
Also made everyone go out for a 2-hour lunch as the least I can do for them, is make people eat during lunchtime.
Last Thursday I went to the Bristol office to say goodbye to the Bristol team, but honestly, there were only a few people that I really needed to say goodbye to
My counsellor and one of my juniors, and the both of them were there
I had a nice lunch and a nice conversation with them. I wrote Josh a thank you card. Honestly, he has been the most human person I've met in the firm. I'll be taking that away, to allow kindness and empathy to exist in a cruel corporate world.
The whole week was "handover week" for me. I.e. I don't really work on things, but rather give guidance to people, what I know about the project, and what I've learnt about the clients. So I'm on calls the whole week most days with short lunch breaks. My internet broke for a couple of days, but it doesn't matter, because all I needed was my phone.
I also got a farewell card from the team, which was really really sweet. Kindness really is contagious, and to think it all started with the first human person I've met :)
Vulnerability and a safe zone are established through Friday reflection calls, and the virtual world got warmer. I do hope it continues
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After I said goodbye on Friday evening, I packed dinner and my bags and headed to the airport hotel. My heart was full, and emotions were there, but it felt like unfinished business.
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I went to Amsterdam for that bank holiday weekend, though we spent 1 full day in Zaandam (Zaans Schans), and 1 full day in Lisse (Keukenhof), so technically, Amsterdam was just a resting spot.
I met Yong Shang and KY at the airport, it was relatively quiet than how I remembered it 9 years ago.
Day 1
Zaans Schans was rainy, but we had a LOT of cheese, and saw some windmills (and learnt there was only 1 paper mill that exists and it's in Zaans Schans). We also went to the red light district, and with a newfound perspective that weed is indeed everywhere! I wonder how I missed that 9 years ago.
Day 2
Keukenhof was beautiful where flowers bloomed, sadly due to warm weather conditions, lots of the flowers have wilted so the boat tour became a little uneventful while we look at green stems or cleared up flower beds. There is a small patch of heaven though! where there were a lot of trees and the tulips bloom just right (i.e. not under or over bloomed), rows of red and yellow beneath tall green trees. The tourists are not really seen in the pictures as they've blocked the tulips display with strings. So we took a few pictures there.
We then went to the Van Gogh museum, Starry night wasn't around, but we got to see "the bedroom" and "sunflower" I didn't know that sunflower was only 3 colours, and that it's a mix of wilting sunflowers rather than full-bloomed ones. I do love his paintings of olive grooves, especially the one with the pink background, it has a certain sadness to it. But perhaps it's the way they've displayed the paintings. All in one exhibit. We also learnt that he wasn't renowned as a genius because he went crazy, but rather he was still a genius despite his personal mental health. What a newfound perspective :) We spent 2 hours in the museum before heading to redlight district to have nice ramen
Day 3
We went to Anne Frank's house, I've been looking forward to this for a while now. I remember reading her diary when I was young in primary school. Now that it has come to life, it brings sadness to my heart.
The tickets were hard to come by, it's released one day a month, and we had a long virtual queue. We also aren't allowed to take pictures in it. There were 2 stories behind the bookshelf, it was amazing how this unassuming flat can take in 2 families, with a total of 8 people. It's definitely bigger than I imagined, they had a dining table, beds and one toilet. Though it is cramped for 8 people.
She was just like all of us when we were teenagers! So full of hope about the future, loves little keepsakes (as displayed in her room, posters that she's stuck on the wall). Cares little about the politics and more about the people around her.
It was a sad trip. I bought an illustration postcard (which I rarely do! It's usually photos of the place) but in my head, it draws out how she felt at the moment as she peeked out of the curtains with rays of sunshine coming in.
We went on a walking tour later that day, which was nice! and then head home
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Tuesday came...
I sent out a farewell email, replied to a couple of messages, and picked up a phone to say goodbye to Krey. On my way out I spotted a return kit for my phone lying on top of the pile of parcels by the mailboxes. I picked it up and plopped it in my flat and headed to the office together with KY
In the office, I put in an OOO email and handed in my laptop. I also handed back my security pass to the reception, though she never really asked for it. The bristol office was pretty chill about these things I realised.
It still felt like I haven't left, as emails continue to come in and Teams continue to ping on my phone. As I see messages about the project, it still feels that I haven't left.
That afternoon, I rebooted my phone according to the instructions.
A couple of buttons later, my phone went through a factory reset and my world became quiet.
The package was still staring at me, in my head, I can't help but wonder what was going on etc.
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Wednesday came...
I didn't need to attend 9am calls, I started noticing my flat being messy. Started tidying things and keepsakes. In the afternoon, the DHL man came to pick up my phone.
That was when I realised the quietness of the world.
I was at peace and relieved.
I started reading books again that afternoon.
I got a nice Instagram message from an old friend that they would be happy to put me through a referral system for McKinsey if my CV is ready.
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Thursday came...
I finally picked myself up and started editing my CV from 4 years ago, most of which have changed. (even my hobbies).
A few hours later I decide to take my CV out for a test run, applied to a couple of jobs and just sort of started my journey of job hunting. But I feel that this time is different from me 4 years ago, as I'm more relaxed, my visa doesn't depend on this, and I was aiming for an August start date anyway.
I returned a couple of books and borrowed a couple more, also went out to drop a mail that didn't belong to me and went out to vote (1 day later Bristol no longer has a mayor, interesting how a person's life can easily go upside down) Also funny how errands grow as people become quiet.
I went out for a run that evening and finished reading another book. Borrowed a couple more.
I promised myself that I'll give time to myself to think about what I actually want to do.
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I'm still trying to find my footing now that my world is officially quiet.
I think it's important that I leave time for myself to think as those will become precious and scarce when I return.
I'm still learning what's important that I need to fit into my routine (e.g. applying for jobs, back exercises)
and what I other things I'd like to learn or hobbies I'd like to pick-up that gives my mind some peace and quiet.
I have trust in the process, that I'll eventually get there :)
