12月8日~~

I went to the temple to visit guanyinma 

I asked "is what I wanted what i needed"

And I got the fortune saying "don't look back and have courage."

I'm not typically a spiritual or religious person. But at times where it feels a bit much, I turn to guanyinma for advice. 

At times like these, I just got to trust that I can do it. I still have breaks and I mentally check out after hours every now and then. 

But I do have to keep reflecting if I'm truly happy if this goes on. 

And time will tell. 

12月4日~~

I got to stop letting conflicts and blunt comments get to my head. 

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It's not in my nature to be confrontational, I do think it's okay. I'm convincing myself that leaders can be non confrontational.

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Lately work had been busy and I've been clouded by self doubt and worry. 

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Getting the visibility exposes me. 

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The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that I can still afford slip ups. 

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I just need to know how to control the anxiety built up in me and flush that out. I just need to remember that peace is an option that I sometimes forget. 

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Got offered an opportunity to join an ex boss. I told him I'm okay with where I am. So not now, but most likely also ... not yet.