Here I am still holding on :)

Here I am still holding on :)

..:: Listen ::..

Sunday, April 30, 2017

4月29日~~

部落格换个情调
换个心情 :) 

前几天
reality hit me like a bus 

告诉父母亲,
可能是最后一次暑假回家了吧

明白
一切有得有失的道理

倘若我要在这几年
踏出又一个舒适圈
在这里找份工作,干个2-3年在回国

是时候取舍
其实还蛮emo一下的

pushing everyone away, because 
nothing lasts longer than friendship at this stage of life

和父母亲越来越close
又或者别人口中说地 “You're so transparent to your parents”
毕竟,不想重蹈覆辙。
太多的悲欢离合,对于我这种感情特丰富的生物而言,其实很难受 ._. 
把所有的爱与任性,集中在不会离开我的家人,和只手数清的知己,就够了 :) 

生命太多的未知数
有无限个可能性

同一个问题,问我几次,都会很自信地给你们不一样的答案
显然,就连我自己要什么,想要什么
也开始慢慢模糊了

I need more time to figure out myself 



Image result for you gain something you lose something

PS. 5 more papers 
加油 :)

PPS. came across this "不知道从什么时候起,我发现自己也是个怀旧的人,回忆是我生活的必需品。"
It's funny how true this it :') 


Sunday, April 23, 2017

Stockholm Sweden (2D1N)

7 days before my finals
I went on a 2-day-1-night trip to the 10th happiest country on earth - Stockholm, Sweden with RJ and KY

Both of them thought I was crazy(obviously they used a more 粗俗 word, but itsokay)
but hey, #yolo despite the 101 reasons for me to not go
The only thing that came to my mind was "why not?"

Anyways, it was also because of the super cheap flight tickets from Ryanair - £16 return
Because KY got £50 voucher for AirBnB, it was around £8 per person?

I swear, my tickets to Stansted is more expensive £30 ++ pounds , as well as the local city pass around 240 Sek (around £20 ++) for 72 hours

I was in charge of the itinerary, note to self,
to put someone with no sense of direction in charge of the itinerary
is like asking a person with no taste buds to cook up a michelin star dish

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but anyway, these are like the chillest people I've met for some time.
I feel like I'm treated like a princess with respect ah, which once again I haven't felt like this in a long time.

I've known RJ for around a year because of ICMS, and then we went to Iceland together, and go random places in London together.

I've JUST known KY, when I went to a pre-drinking session before Zodiac that RJ and KS asked me to go. I'm definitely more chilled than who I was a few years back. No sweat indeed

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Itinerary

Day 1: 1. Old Town tour (free walking tour)
http://freetourstockholm.com/
2. Kungsträdgården (to take pictures with the Cherry Blossom)
3. Monteliusvägen (where it is said to be the most beautiful place to take pictures of the sunset)

The trip to the airport to the city centre was quite far (took up 2 hours of our lives man..) hence the short short itinerary that is comparatively chill





























Day 2:
1. Check out some subway art (apparently it is one of Stockholm's "best kept secret")
2. Nobel Prize Museum
3. Stockholm Public Library (one of the prettiest library in the world)
4. Stockholm City Hall (where they give out Nobel Prizes)
5. Ikea (2nd largest in the world)


Ikea originated from Stockholm, but still not a very good reason to travel 1 hour away just to eat the meatballs and go to the airport. Thanks for being so ons guys!

PS. you know you're travelling with the right people, when you all agree to ditch the Vasa Museum (sunken ship museum, one of the "best museums in Stockholm") to go to the Nobel Prize Museum where there are like so-so reviews about it. #nerds4lyfe

PPS. we went into the Nobel Prize museum for FREE (it's like winning the lottery when you realize you don't have to pay for something because you came in at the right time)



























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Stockholm is the exact definition of 地广人稀
The road is very wide, with very little cars
A very clean and quiet city as compared to London
the sort of place that makes you feel like saying
"Screw degree, I'm retiring now."

Food wise, the travelmates are very 随便 (hehe, which is how I am anyways) and mom forwarded me a link to cheap eats in Stockholm, so we just simply pick a few restaurants from the list:
29 best cheap eat in Stockholm 
https://www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/marietelling/29-of-the-best-cheap-eats-in-stockholm

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PS: haven't blogged about my travel trips in ages, oops
PPS: time to hit the books

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Late Night Thoughts

People can be harsh at times
It could be constructive or detrimental or both.

It all depends on perspective..

===

I realize my speech has become more politically correct than straight to the point

人长大了世界越来越大
但同时,却小得很微妙

听着别人的经历
思想开始改变

说话总会越来越小心。
越来越小心,而越来越客观。
越来越客观,而越来越不值一提。
因此,话变得越来越少。

===

爸爸说,多一个朋友胜于多一个敌人

我不明白,
为什么有些人会为了自己的信仰和思想

伤害无辜人

once again
“无辜”是个很主观的词语

一个虔诚的基督教徒,觉得同性恋者有罪
但倘若,他/她每天依然细心照顾身边的人,释放着正能量

他/她还是有罪吗?

一个虔诚的基督教徒,若每天都在转牛角尖,小气着过生活

他/她难道是无辜的吗?

everyone.. is an innocent sinner
everyone .. is an introvert and an extrovert

everyone has a story to tell
everyone has a baggage

===

世界真的真的很大
人真的真的很渺小

===

这几天有机会和朋友聊天聊到深夜,在火车上聊天
perspective
is such an interesting thing
要不然同一个际遇,为什么会有不同的想法甚至极端的想法

===

我对信仰这两个字的理解
一向都模糊
也许父亲对我的影响真的很大

5岁的自己曾思考过死亡
想到失眠,想到哭。
那时的我,才刚接触到 “长命百岁”这4个字。
但我在想为什么没有101岁
所以我问了爸爸
爸爸说,这是人生常态。

oblivion
这个字,其实很恐怖
小时候的我,也许不明白这个字是什么,
but it's really nothing
it's just a word
understanding it before knowing it's actual terminology is ... fearful

也因为这样
爸爸说的话越来越make sense
“信仰是一种精神寄托”

就连sausage party这种猥亵的戏
我都赞同,它的subtle religious hints

I chose to believe in happiness
I chose contentment as my final goal 

Because of this
I learn to respect, to understand, to love, to laugh, to spread positive energy

这就是我的信仰
not really something objectified
but something felt

我依然相信缘分
我依然相信destiny

但我也知道幸福就处于知足常乐
20年后,我不会记得我此时此刻做了什么,但我会记得别人带给我的感觉,我的记忆会停留在最想象不到的片段

in some ways .. it sort of relates to how I perceive london bridge to be
it certainly is .. unexpected but normal :)


===

也因为我还在处于很尴尬的状态between politically correct and expressing thoughts
所以很多时候,我的话越来越jumbled up
又更准确说,i chose what to not say and to say
朋友会很confuse
所以
I shut my mouth and opened my mind

===

I actually think
dad has experienced contentment :)

and finally I understood my own religion

===

my definition of contentment
- an overwhelming wash of calmness in the least expected moment possible, something much more than bliss and laugh-till-you-cry-joy.
- Making peace with yourself
- being at the right place with the right people at the right moment
- something that I would relive over and over again yet still a moment I choose never to disturb
- Warmth spreading across your chest, melts the heart and makes you feel like doing nothing but showing a faint smile

===

once again
I am still lost in life ever since what happened 8 months ago

still trying to stay afloat in an ocean of confusion, figuring what I want, who I am, in a general sense.
but I think

I found the next dock

Image result for life quotes

True that I'm a mess right now.
and this is what I'm trying to do