===
It's been a long realisation that I'm often out of words
I choose to stay silent over raising questions, with fear that it will start a heated confrontation
when it could have easily just been an intellectual debate
My manager told me "To give myself credit for the work I've done"
I choose to stay in the background
It is somewhat inherent in my nature
Today, my colleague asked me why should we fund scientific research when the funds could have gone to shelter homes instead
I have the words to justify,
but I don't have the courage to say
Isn't it just human nature to just seek for accelerated initiatives instead of strategic play-outs?
To seek short term profit instead of a long term profit?
Short-sightedness has been a problem, not just in terms of investing in stock markets, but also in scientific research and development
Besides scientific research has been an under-funded area anyway
esp. in Malaysia
I guess, why put the money elsewhere (e.g. in defence)
but the argument arises again, what do you have to protect, when you can't protect.
===
I have the answers
but more of a "on a hindsight" sort-of-way
my managers were telling me that these things take time
when I asked how they are able to say things on the spot without taking a few minutes to think?
I simply can't think when not prepped for
It's something I need to learn
But I do wonder why this is in my nature
===
I had a quiet night in today
It was raining outside
I was reading my book, playing a little ukulele with some chamomile tea on the side
It was peaceful
I looked around the room, I tend to surround myself with books
I started to wonder ...
===
The other day, I asked KY
If he has the chance to spend 100% of his life learning all the knowledge the world has to offer, but he will never be able to talk to anyone about it because there is simply no time, would he take this chance?
He said that it's going to be a bit sad, isn't it?
Well, would one rather pick up a book to learn but never through conversations? Or learn through conversations but never through books?
PS. I learned to tune a guitar today. In hopes that the strings will be kinder to my fingers.
I tuned it! But I was wrong, it was much more painful. I shall resolve to playing the ukulele these days.
PPS. WJ borrowed me his Kalimba last week. I had fun with that little 12 quid instrument whose note placement blows my mind a little. Wondering if I should get one for myself too? Or save for a keyboard / Piano??
