Another day with so much mixed emotions.. that I can't believe it all happened in the same day ..
1. Awards Giving CeremonyIt came unexpectedly
or rather, because I didn't know what it was, it came unexpectedly
when Song Yong hinted me that something will happen ( he didn't know what will either)
I didn't know what to do except getting excited
and deep down inside me .. I kind of feel that something small or big will happen to me
at the awards giving ceremony
So it all started with the speeches
Principle of TCSJ got so pro .. that his speech has Powerpoint and all :D
literally.. a visual speech hahahahha
and ...
I realize that other than having 965 graduates ( don't know why I can't shake this number out of my head)
that 75% of the people dislike their jobs
true... but not everyone can be actors, actresses right? hahahahha
so that means, ( for my interpretation), it is okay to be unhappy with your job :D
Stereotypical as an asian, I do care about pockets of cash..
the papers that others may say, do keep me safe from being sick, and giving my family a better life
moving on ..
to the awards giving session
it took a loonnnnggg timeeee
just waiting and queuing up
it makes us all feel like saying .. why don't I come later @@ .. then I can go first
anyways got into the line of 4As and above
well .. it felt pretty good ^^
I can't deny it :)
I really do hope that I get a better uni ( to have better chances in getting a scholarship)
but meh :D ..I'm content
then it comes to the president's award session
I wasn't aware that such a thing exists until today
it's like those 模范生 奖 in primary school and 活动杰出奖 in high school ( because ain't no way my high school will give out role model prices, too many candidates, and no one is completely perfect and gets 1st in everything nationally)
when my name was called out
I had to wipe my hands on my dress.. they've gotten sweaty
and my heart starts to pound like crazy
thank you so much :)
to everyone who recommended me
to everyone who believed in me
to everyone who pushed me to where I am right now
I am honoured grateful and everything else combined
I gave a crappy interview btw
I mean.. what else can you say when you're out of words?
I didn't see that coming, but I'm pretty sure the other girl who got it saw it coming ....
I couldn't say anything that has a deep meaning to it
All I could say was I'm really overwhelmed and honoured, and just couldn't say thank you enough
I got home.. thought about it and wrote a long essay in fb :)
thinking what I've done these past 1 1/2 years
lots of throwing back to do ..
everyone has regrets, but at least I got a few achievement unlocked for me these 1 1/2 years :)
2. Dinner with the Seniors from UK who graduated from CHKL
With what was going on earlier
I was actually feeling better with my missing of scholarships
To be honest I was a bit beat up yesterday
for what was happening to the market and what I hadn't been able to achieve
It was quite frustrating in a way
So, moving on
I get to ask them seniors on what to bring and what to do when I reach there
they were really really really helpful I must say :)
They gave me bits of tips here and there
and well , need I say more it was really amazing until I get into more details about the cons
I've met another UCL senior who took a different course
truth be told, my pressure increased and self confidence was slightly destroyed after the meet up
I know for now that everyone is their own person
people may live in the same flat but buy their own cooking utensils .. which is fine by me
less quarreling to do when it comes to buying groceries and stuff
okay then .. I realize the true colours of my accommodation
ehm .....
it wasn't too pretty
unlike the previous comment that it is "too busy" with pubs down the streets
my senior told me that it is indeed a bit "too quiet"
and other than being new and modern
there is nothing better to it
no extra facilities, no free wifi and all..
btw, I just realize, with a few steps out, I would be in Zone 2,
so that means the university didn't play to my 1st priority : Proximity
and yet I was charged for more than 200 pounds per week,
not so cool guys .. not so cool
He told me that most eng. dudes prefer to move out to somewhere closer after a while of living there
and I go .. hmmm :/
okays nevermind
he told me to reapply again after one term,
hopefully I'll get somewhere nearer
So afterwards I was told that my course is really quite free
with loads of time to spare (2 -3 hours per day in uni) and a lot of different holidays
which shed some light on me :D
but after being told that we were often looked down upon
since London has something better to offer for my course
again I feel :(
though, he did ask me to not feel bad about it and just carry on as usual
And then another bomb comes in
most people who got in there has further maths in A levels, otherwise SUEC in my high school
I was like. .uh oh ... I'm in huge trouble
He said that for the first 3 months, they will breeze through Further maths
and then get into the real deal ..which becomes hard for me
immediately I turn to monkey
and told him that I desperately need his fm notes, cuz I feel like I'm falling behind already
then he told me also that there's no worry if maths is not a problem for you
but then again, I remember what happened in high school
How my grades drop in form 4 and everything
I don't want it to happen again
He told me again .. to shed some light that
people from my course mostly just exercise
hahahahha it's a good thing, meaning there is so much free time :)
AND THEN ... he has to say something else that just broke my heart a little
the fact that I was looking for a scholarship so badly
just made me feel like a tiny speck flying around with no attention
I was this close in getting that 1000 pounds award money
so close.... like .. 2 - 3 marks closer
and I will get 3 - 4 A*
That's so close, like the second before titanic strucks the iceberg kind of close
just because I missed one A*
1000 pounds flew away
kind of reminds me of my SPM Chinese A-, that makes them scholarships shun away from me
Then, a bit light was shone upon me again
If I get top in modules and all, I'll get reward money, it won't be a lot, but still :)
but then again, with 300 people in the course, I doubt I will ever get it :( .. for rarely the case
am I the best at a particular academic subject
let's be real, this ain't primary school no more...
Well, at least I know what to do there :)
he did tell me about some societies to join if I am that interested in pursuing my future in the world of business, which, is actually my real dream of the future career
I'm going to join .. because.. well you know..
engineering wasn't particularly the dream in the big picture :)
but you know what I've learnt from today's pie charts?
75 % of the people aren't happy / satisfied with their jobs..
and to draw a conclusion .. I would be normal if I'm not happy with mine ^^
you can't complain from whatever that keeps your pocket full and belly full ^^ .. have to admit that
so yea
got a free sim card that I haven't activated
got an inkling of what to download to make my life easier for public transport
and have manage to weigh out the pros and cons as to which bank should I open my account to
but mostly, the further maths thing scares the hell out of me :'(
what to do ? just work hard ..... and hard .. and harder ....
