Step 1 - feed milk as usual
Step 2 - burp as usual
Step 3 - notice baby starts coughing, pat back anyway
Step 4 - notice baby is in a coughing fit (sounds like phlegm), starts crying and turns red.
Step 5 - move away from couch and to easy to clean floors
Step 6 - pat baby while he vomits milk and phlegm, whilst continuously soothing them
Step 7 - wipe clean baby, self and floor. Change where necessary
Step 8 - get baby to sleep (they are tired after the episode)
Step 9 - make coffee and think "the f just happen?", shudder at how scary it was
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How to cool down a baby with fever
Step 1 - wake up in the middle of the night from a screaming baby
Step 2 - feel how hot they are as you try to rock then to sleep
Step 3 - put them back in the cot and get a thermometer
Step 4 - measure 3 times hoping to see a result other than 40 degree celsius
Step 5 - pee and drink water fast (its going to get real soon)
Step 6 - prepare room temperature bath water
Step 7 - strip down screaming baby and keep sponging them
Step 8 - take off shirt and keep hugging them (skin to skin) every now and then so they know it is safe.
Step 9 - prepare wet Handkerchief for forehead dunking and flipping every 5 mins because its hot like teppanyaki
Step 10 - measure temperature again an hour after sponge bath
Step 11 - change shifts with partner and think "the f just happen" and be scared at what just happened
In both cases go to the paediatrician as soon as its open to get medication
