Lots of emotions and thoughts flow through as I receive a new job offer 2 months into my role in Zalora
This was probably first job I probably applied to in March / April.
On one hand, it is the job, the dream - to help the nation build it's 5G infrastructure
Wasn't it what I thought I would've done if I came back? Wasn't it all for a bigger cause than myself?
On the other hand, it is the work-life balance, the ideal - to spend time with my loved ones who bring me joy. Wasn't it the core reason to living? To be with loved ones as much as possible?
Didn't I already talk myself out of the career goals and aspirations?
Aren't I already in a position in life where it's the best balance between salary and work-life balance?
So why did I take up that interview?
Why did I prepare so hard for these conversations?
Did I truly believe myself when I said "I'm driven by a social cause"
Or am I just another selfish person?
I know where my strengths are, but where does my passion lie?
Is this all just to fuel the ego monster in my heart, or is the ego monster my true driver in life?
Reflecting on life, I've picked up challenges "Just cuz", there were always reasons / excuses as to why I choose to do what I do. And I always justify it to myself
Lately, I've been thinking, perhaps I don't always have to pick the toughest mountain to climb? Perhaps I can make-do with what I have and pretend I don't have that will to mountain it.
Looking back again, I know that I wouldn't let it go, like how I still talk about that decision to join EY over Barclays a long time ago. I never let it go, did I?
But why did I come home, I would've done well with what I was doing. Or is coming home already achieving what I wanted?
Do I feel like I can do better in the next job? soar higher go further? And so what if that's true?
Would I settle, would I strive? And what's the catch if I strive or settle? Which can't I deal with?
At risk of repeating myself..I kind of have to ponder about what makes things good and bad right now and before. Am I willing to go back to that?
