5月20日~~

I just saw a video on YouTube "What's the bravest thing you've done?"

The sort of question that makes you reflect and think.
Hmm, what would it be..


A couple of flashbacks came to me.. but is it considered brave when you don't remember if you were scared?

I guess a vague answer such as "Doing the right thing" should sum it all.


===
3 more days till my last paper

5月6日~~

Apparently, I haven't updated in a while
If KY didn't remind me I almost forgot about this little space

Anyway
here's a really quick update
things have been moving fast
I can't believe time is doing this to me

I've finished my thesis
So that's that
I was super stressed out during then
Gary and I had a shared total amount of sleep from Wednesday morning 10am - Friday afternoon 12 pm
 a total amount of 5 hours and that was me sleeping on Wednesday night alone

it was intense
the whole process was insane, an intense amount of lab hours, analysing results and so on
but I actually stayed up just to fix my grammar, which is funny
I never would have expected myself to stay up for grammar, but I didn't sleep the day before until 7 am on Thursday and woke up at 12 pm, so that's fine I guess.

A week after that thesis deadline I took off to Austria with KY
visiting Vienna, Salzburg and Hallstatt
It's like a 2nd lil honeymoon
just as amazing as the 1st one :)
given that I also picked the place :p
I've always wanted to go to Austria since I came to the UK, I knew it was just a step closer to that dream
In my first year, I was flatmates with an Austrian named Laura
I still wrote to her on Christmases and she knows about my obsession with Austria
My parents went there on their honeymoon... Salzburg where they saw performances about the Sound of Music

My dad has been a huge fan of the Sound of Music and I've watched it countless times when I was younger and am in love with their music since then
My mum was a huge music nerd. She bought all these music history CDs so I'd know the history of all the famous musicians and somehow they were all from Vienna

So I knew, I wanted to go to Vienna and Salzburg.. one day :) It was meant to be!


And once again, I would need to thank my parents
for giving me the freedom of choice to travel and to pursue my career


In Vienna, I got to listen to some classic tunes...
I was so touched, that I started tearing up a little
As much as I thought I would, I didn't know I'd actually get the chance to hear some of the classics of Strauss and Mozart at the place where it was written.
I whispered "thank you" to KY
and continued enjoying the music
closing my eyes
singing to the tune a little
jumping with glee at a note that I've anticipated
it was everything I've always dreamed off :')


And when I was in Salzburg, I was singing tunes from the Sound of Music everywhere I go,
even to Mozart-related Statues.

I was beaming with joy, I have dreamt of this moment for such a long time.
And I was glad that I had my favourite person alongside me all this time,
albeit the fact that he was absolutely mortified by how many people were singing to the tunes on the bus

Every night we would chill in our Airbnb, he would cook me dinner while I study Energy Systems and Sustainability. I would cuddle up next to him, after, of course, he has put on a duvet on the sofa and made it extra comfy

Those were the nights I look forward to

===

Fast forward to today, I've gone through 2 papers.
Today KY hugged me and told me that time has passed by so so fast
I'm about to graduate
He has been at Exeter for almost 1 year
And we're going back to Malaysia again

That really struck me to heart
I realized it has been almost a year and a half since I've been together with him

===

My tier 2 visa ...

I miss home
My dad was sad when I told him that I might be able to make it home
and he teared up a little
My heart tightened and
I miss home a lot more

After a month or so of agony
I asked EY and they told me it shouldn't be a problem

 After that, I told KY and my family that i'm coming home

From 3rd June to 5th July
for 3 years
I haven't celebrated my dad's birthday

He reminded me that this isn't a big deal since he's 60th birthday was coming up next year

...

Those 2 nights, I had nightmares that I'd lose my dad
I was sad when I woke up and told KY about it

It sort of reminded me of a short chat I had with CY
when he told me how he almost teared up when we were at king's cross
it reminded me of how much I have been losing out on

...

2 years ago, my dear friend victor told me that if a person has 60 years to live
he thinks he was satisfied with the life he has lived

and I too, think I have done enought to feel calm if life were to bring me to my end

after that I told rj about it, and he was so sad since his dad was 60 years of age then

I realised, that ... my dad is almost 60

...

my granddad (my mom's dad) had like 70+ years of age to live in

this makes me pleasantly sad
that I've lost 4 years already

and now I'm losing 3 more years

===

I miss home ...
really I do ...

I told dad (and he has agreed) that I'd go back whenever I was required by Visa
but I'll stay as long as I can

===

I miss KY too ...

the moment he leaves this room
this room felt empty again,
reminded me of the time we've held each other tight and teared up a little before we leave..

what I was glad was that I could countdown, in single-digit numbers,
the day we'd meet again...

right now, some of my friends already know what'll happen to us in the future
and they're all very happy for me on all the decisions we've made

It's going to be some interesting 2 years or so ahead of me
I'm glad that I can still share some remnants of my life with you, and I'm glad you're still here with me :)
on the journey of growth ...

We all learn how to cherish the people we're with over time
and I'm glad that he's here with me on my 成长过程 :)
sincerely, from the bottom of my heart

I'm glad that he has stuck by

:)

5 days till we meet again
4 days till my 3rd paper
28 days till I go back home with KY :)