9月29日~~

Have been so focused on pushing things through the door it completely slipped my mind that I'll be semi-off starting next week by working from home!

It wasnt until my team and my boss said it this morning only I realised it. 

That's crazy. 

Time to let motherhood take the front row seat soon rather than work

9月25日~~

You know what I realised? 

I'm really REALLY into songs that sings about how negative emotions in an upbeat happy song

Because that really captures how we cope all the time. 

Anne Marie just released "depressed" and I'm already replaying it like all of AJR songs. 

It's not just the English songs. 孙燕姿also has a couple of these like 180度. 

Amazing how they make me both wanna cry and laugh at the same time

9月18日~~

What I've learnt about myself in the past week of tracking my blood sugar. 

Is that I can control myself on the buffet line, but i can't when i have a home-y bowl of pan mee in front ot me. 

So I end up overeating that instead of the buffet. Hilarious

9月13日~~

Getting GDM counselling yesterday and getting tagged with the glucose tag, truly is something else. 

I read the pamphlet, and saw the strict glucose level for pregnancy ladies, which means I've already failed 2 meals .. the 1 hour after eating my first bite. Though, 2 hours after it was fine. 

My heart dropped, disappointment reigned. Once again, my body has failed me. Tears well up. 

First my stretch marks and now this?

I hear it already, "you just need to try harder"

And i cant help but think, maybe that is right. 

Surely, fatigue, Emotions and pregnancy hormones is just an excuse at some point. I should be able to function logically like my non-pregnant self, push harder, be less tired, move more. .....

But until then. I'm just sad

 

9月11日~~

It's 12.35am

I'm still winding down from the day after finishing work 45 mins ago. 

For the first time today, I really tried to touch and feel my belly. 

My baby boy toss and turns lightly in my stomach. No kicks, so he's probably changing position to map after kicking me during office hours.

What a feeling to share with my baby in the depths of the night. I'll miss these days. 

9月8日~~

Being sick whilst 7 months pregnant is not fun. 

Doctors are cautious with the medicine they would usually prescribe, which means it's taking me (someone who runs to get medicine at any sign of weakness) a longer time to recover. 

I've been at this since Thursday. It's been 5 days now. Nothing but a common cold. But what's common has brought me down. 

That + the physical discomfort of third trimester is hard. The indigestion, the bladder squeeze, leaky nose and cough fits is too much for me. I'm so sticky all the time, now that air conditioning makes my nose uncomfortable. 

I know moving about should help, but im so tired all the time. I can't get myself to walk about with this extra 9 kg (and growing) i'm carrying 

Now absolutely everything can be an ordeal. 

People asking me what baby gifts to get, arranging for stem cell, calling for my diabetes appointment (i have mild GDM, sadness). I put them off to the very last minute, it's ridiculous but also on brand. I'm known to put things off when it's only for me and i know it's not urgent.