9月25日~~

 As Barney Stinson says 

"Here's how you run a marathon

    1)  Step 1: You start Running

    ... There is no Step 2"

As we rewatched this scene together this morning, KY and I shared a look. 
We had the whole day to think about it. 

And Tonight, we signed-up for the Brighton Full Marathon in April 2022. 

Flashbacks of the last (and only) half marathon we did in 2019 came back. 
I remember the intense cramps at the end of the run, and how tired we were that very same day. 
Literally, I never knew my legs can give up on me like that. 

We have not run a lot since the start of the pandemic, which is 1.5 years ago at this point. 
My body has completely transformed since I've been experiencing consistent back pains, I gained quite a bit of weight and my stamina (of even walking) is visibly low

We paused at the sign-up page, ngl, it's scary

42km

That is going to be a long journey, the thought of it makes me sweat and shiver 
but at the same time, it makes me very excited. 

The type of teenage-like giddiness and excitement that has been lost for a while now. 

It's a proper quest and adventure, of the body and the mind. 

We signed up and I printed off a 6-month training plan. 

It simply has to be now. 

- We are 25 this year,
- it's going to be our last year in the UK, with a pretty solid goal to go back to Malaysia for good by Summer 2022
- We won't have the same luxury of independence and running when we go home (My parents aren't the biggest fan of my physical adventures, re: Sky Trip, Dec' 2018) 

I'm now just watching random videos of people running a marathon. My heart is still beating fast, head filled with fear and excitement. 

Finally, a new goal :) 
to keep my mind off work. :) 

9月21日~~

Did the thought of going into the office just kept me up in the middle of the night?

--

It's 3am now .. half an hour since I woke up

No sign of my heartbeat slowing down

I downloaded the myday app and booked a desk in paragon tomorrow

My heart is racing as we speak

There was no reason to. Since no one except 1 person asked if I may be joining promotion drinks next week (not even "are you coming into office"?)

And here I am .. illogically booking a desk so I can "get my mail" first and not have people staring at me as I struggle to get my locked code right  

What came over is beyond me. 

I've not felt this anxious since .. a long time ago. The agony of waiting ahead of an uncertainty is frustrating 

Or perhaps. It was the coffee yesterday. 

But then again I've always had the same dose of coffee.. so what makes today so special? 

I know this kept me awake, but what woke me up in the first place?

9月15日~~

 Consulting is such a weird job

I woke up a bit later today and got online around 8am (Usual working hours were 9am - 5pm)
By then, I've already had 4 pings on teams, some from 1am, some from 7am

I started working on all these tasks and finished at around 10am, 
Suddenly there are no more pings and it feels like I've woke up from a fever dream

I worked from 8am - 7pm yesterday
and when I finished I felt like I have 2 work days worth of work in one day 

But at the same time, for the past 2 weeks, I haven't been doing anything particularly memorable
I was just reading and doing my own stuff during work hours 

We're closing in on another quarterly performance cycle again, every project I'm on felt like ages ago
Feel like I'm living in accelerated and slowed down time in parallel 

Now I'm just doing some admin tasks, that felt like it could have been completed for little time but it felt like I'm doing it forever

It's probably the coffee talking though 

My colleagues are trickling in the office now, sooner or later it'll be me as well, I don't know how I feel about it yet though. I really hated impromptu travelling and often find myself less productive 

On a side note, Stardew valley is awesome! KY got us the game a 3 weeks back I think? And it has been so therapeutic <3 

I'm also embarked on a journey to close-out my time in the UK. Got a book called "111 places in Bristol that you shouldn't miss" and have been going to those places in the last 2 weeks. :) 

Thinking of doing the same for London before I leave for good, but that's for future Yee Ting to think about ^^