Here I am still holding on :)

Here I am still holding on :)

..:: Listen ::..

Sunday, September 30, 2012

9月30日~~ A special song :)


A very special song.. 
caught hold my heart every time I listen to it..
the special part is that..
every time I listen to it ..
I think about different people :)
different situations..
thanks.. Phil Collins 
for making this song SO freaking special.. and unique :)
yesterday..
I thought of my other 'souls' :)
thanks for being by my side
and lending me shoulders when I desperately needed one
.....

You'll be in my heart.... 
Phil Collins




Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust what they can't explain
I know we're different but deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know (what do they know)?
We need each other
To have, to hold.
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong (you gotta be strong)
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
[another version says: "Believe me, you'll be in my heart"]
I'll be there from this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart (you'll be here in my heart)
No matter what they say (I'll be with you)
You'll be here in my heart (I'll be there), always
Always
I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there always.


brighten my day up.. 
Disney... :)


Saturday, September 29, 2012

9月29日~~

当你看到,一个人可以在兴奋的同时突然冷掉,
别怀疑就是我 .... ==..
最近有点精神不正常。。
是超级的说。。。
LOL..
整天的momentum ..work , power and energy..习题
却依然没有胆量面对 我那该死的 小考。。。
:(...
打击 过大产生的副作用。。
aikz..悲哀也。。
一直反复在虚拟和真实的世界里。。
一直苏醒、再沉睡。。。
I still can't do it ...
they still can't let me do it....

9月28日~~

Round 1 of insanity just past by.. I trust that round2 might get worse:(.. I tried to control myself to blog tomorrow..when my computer will be back by.my side.. but.. who knows? Different feeling and emotions everyday.. almost burst into tears yesterday night.. I wanted this so badly.. that the thought of not being able to go through this hurts me... BIG time.. I guess.. well.. maybe.. I was too confident that it never came to me.. that I might lose this freakin baytle..:(.. the thought of it itself scares the crap out of me..I don't accept failure really easily.. especially when I got it for so long.. I need to do this.. I need to face this.. I HAVE to face this.. darn physics.. I can't even do question 1 of my exercise.. that might be the main reason why I'm blotting nw.. even though I had to do it with my handphone..I feel defeated.. its tough.. I can't fall.. at least not now:(.. I studied bt i still can't do. I knw It's easy.. I knw it is.. but I don't know how... My results are ka freakin going downhill.. people are struggling to maintain..at least cling on.. I tried... But.. so far.. I'm losing grip:(.. I'm.sliding down.. and It's going faster..I dont wanna talk about the exams I faced these days........ Sometimes I ask myself when will they ever leave me alone!.. why can't they just ka freakin study for their finals?! And if not.. leave me alone to study:(..I understand now why 'they' dont bring those stuff to school during exams or during holidays.. although they know they HAVE to.. its a sacrifice we have to make..and yet the others just made a habit telling us everything.. and I mean EVERYTHING to us.. leave them and us alone.. dontcha see? That ain't the point.. especially at a time like this ..when i feel the shittiest and the need to study.. the only time I have a taste of freedom.. away from all.. yet.. they can't leave me alone:( .. I.even HAD to settle those stuff before my exam and during the first 2days of my finals.. I don't know if u guys know those. But.. I seriously need this... So badly... Really and truly need it.. focus... It may not be my choice.. but as I said before.. attitude can change all the finales set for us.. it will either make the worst seem best or the best seem worst.. I hadn't given myself the guts to browse through those.. someday.. I might.. but that's just someday... Not today or tomorrow... Breaking free... From and for myself:).. good luck

Monday, September 24, 2012

9月24日~~

Two more days...
to the BIG day...
I didn't turn on my computer yesterday..
focusing on my bio test held today..
for a WHOLE day..
yea..
it took me a long time to memorize everything..
but then I realize it was worth it :)
because in the end ..
the test paper came out quite hard..
**Yikes*...
teacher warned us before though..
lucky I took notice of that ..
0.0
long time since I've studied that hard ...
got my chemis test back ..
failed. ...
50...
LOL..==
the irony ....
I don't get myself..
it;s not that the paper is THAT easy or THAT hard..
it's just that..
some of the questions...
I could actually manage ...
and yet I didn't at that time..
All i told noob and lulu was..
I was stupid back then...
but i don't really mind..
since I feel myself back on track..
my days of not focusing are OVER ( I hope , and seriously hope)
I AM BACK..
I'm not gonna let another crappy thing ruin my mood or whatsoever..
Studies is what I should focus on ..
Find myself clinging onto my results lately...
this is so NOT good..
not good at all..
I don't wanna drop class ><..

today is another day of an example of a rocket life..
no, i am sure it ain't roller coaster but a rocket..
I was happy then angry then sad then laughing ..
 wow...yes I did that much
Lucky thing is the happy part made me got through most of my 2nd recess
and then I was angry .. VERY pissed off ..
for I don't know..
a minute or two.. during the time I was going up the stairs ..
I told lulu and moron .. that I am very VERY very pissed.
I am damn sure that it ain't sad but angry..
but after that hell of a split second
I found myself smiling and laughing ..
and NO I AM NOT MENTALLY DISTORTED..
nor was I mentally disoriented ...
I was laughing because..
well ... ?
How could I be so childish :)
..
Little kids play ..
so why bother?
....
They'll get bored sooner or later...
hahahaha...
I lost just by getting angry..
I'm not gonna play the game with them ...
:)
more to life than that..
;)

Yesterday..
got myself a haircut..
fresh me :D...
and lived in my fantasies for like 20 minutes..
looking forward and yearning for the last day of exam..
and what comes after it...
plans are all laid out.
processing ...
Darn it.. looking forward to it already... :D...
focus on exams now..
gtg bye .. :D

GOOD LUCK on the exams :DD




just back ..
feeling a lot more calmed after settling some stuff...
haha...
I wasn't actually calmed down just now huh ?...
study music project songs...
is here tonight :)
with chemis in front of me...

I was a fool to not see the great things that are constantly circling around me :)
truly.. I was ...
found out another impact on others ...
feels great... :)
really great..

anyway..
gonna booked those apartments for the trip that I have fantasise so much :)
seems like I finally got my guts together..
this time I called.. without feeling (a lot) nervous :)
silverfraser :D
loving that name, lovin that price,  :D
waiting for that email .. and passing up the details :)... no more bailing out...
as I just said...
I AM BACK.. (as I always was everyday :P)  

Saturday, September 22, 2012

9月22日~~

     ..::Believe ::..         
          
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

     ..::Stay Focus::..
         
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
    ..:: Go For It::..
      
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



:)
.
每个星期六会collapse在沙发上。。aikz><
今天堕落的时间稍久
有点废人的感觉
躺在那里大概15分钟
就躺着而已。。
然后再耗个10分钟。。
我浪费了25分钟
不懂做了什么。。
就是什么都没有做。。
很没有重点
累~
眼睛却不允许睡。。
脑袋也不允许睡。。
心跳依然不慢。。
所以。。
累中携带一点清醒地元素。。
刚decorate和renovate了我的Blog。。
还不赖吧?^^

当一个人无形中影响了别人。。
心理的欣慰和责任心
会加重很多。。
感觉到一个伟大的大爱精神
慢慢地在心里发芽,在心里萌生:)
或许就是因为这样。。
觉得更需要保护他们。。
更需要坚强
更需要。。
抬头面对。。:)    
             


                                   








Friday, September 21, 2012

9月21日~~

今天一下本来要找训导,结果才知道原来一下又论坛说明会
我stunned着了一下,
才想到~
对吼~我有参加。。
哈哈哈
题目听起来还蛮好玩得:)

今天有点点不在状况之内
不对。。
应该说。。
每一次一考完试就有少少没办法完全清醒。。
今天的作文我觉得我写得还蛮不错
:)
知道臭noob告诉我。。
eden是男生的名字D;。。。
明明看小说的时候是女生的名字。。。
别骗我啦><...
哈哈后来想想下
alex和charlie也可以使女生的名字
干嘛eden不可以是男生的名字呀
LOL
哈哈哈
笨到~
想太多。。
阴影太多了。。

明天的moral平测占总平均30分
LOLLLl!!!
恐怖到!!!
可以不要吗? ==

和一个小学同学聊天
如果和一个中学朋友聊天
相比之下。。
有很大的不同的感觉。。
nostalgic..
一起交换秘密
就好像说一个很长很假的故事
一切都回到原点
什么也没发生过:)
我们还是当年08年的我们
什么也没变过。。
我们。。
依然是我们:) ..
顿时的想念。。
应该是现在听着的sungha jung- you raise me up
弄到我这样吧?
第二个小学同学。。
和我交谈。。
好怀念曾经的一切
刚和一个人说我喜欢自己stalk自己的感觉
感觉上我重新成长了
拥有最真实的自己
那个害羞表达自己的自己
那个很期待未来又畏惧未来的自己
那个我最爱的我。。:)
谢谢你们,让我成长了
我现在成为了另一个版本的我
唯一不变的是
坚持
曾经坚持和现在坚持方法不一样
但是
都是坚持

开心就开怀大笑,不开心就大力痛哭,
快乐就是这么简单:)
曾经的我们就这么简单。。:)

哈哈。。现在的快乐当然也这么简单
只是大家快乐的定义都不一样了:)
这个作文题目
让我们找到了自己
把哪个自己用文字全写在考卷上。。
华文作文就这么特别:D

The only way to keep yourself conscious
is to find some place to breath..
I found my way out :) 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

9月20日~~

老师的一句话:你们有一部分的人离题了。。
把我的心情搞垮了。。:(
什么哦~
讲到最后,我就是一句话:离题了
离题分最高48
希望老师开明一点吧T^T
这次的国文作文我的确有用心准备,
今天的华文作文也是。。
老师啊~。。
我的2下心情毁了:(
一样。。
商4是我自由的天地,大部分的人都认识的,
而基本上我在商4也没有什么好掩饰的。。
2下的时候
还蛮伤心的说,走到楼梯口,
走下去,
就开始抬头挺胸继续面对这一切。。
我的心情其实也没有糟到哪里去,只是很sad下:'( 
看到我还打得出sad的符号,就知道我其实还好
因为基本上我们班不少人犯了这个错误。。。
aikz ><..
别~

华文作文
和往常一样。。
都选那种能够表达我心中感受的题目
上了中学以后,
基本上写华文作文总是能够振奋人心,写完后,感觉上自己重新成长了
原因很简单
写华文作文=发泄自己
我写的华文作文,基本上和我的blog post没什么差很远
因为我本人就是一个感性的人:P
写华文作文=blogging :)

我说不出的话全用打的或写的
华文老师无疑成为了我倾诉心声的对象:)
谢啦骢哥;)我的1500++个字,希望你不会看到呕血
:P
不过里面叙述的事情,大部分都是给我稍微夸张化了的真实事情
当然我也不忘把身边人对我说过的话写了进去:)
至于我写了谁的话,自己猜吧。。
哈哈哈哈哈~
我们4个人里面,3个人选了同一个题目哟(臭玫瑰)
我和蔚写了某人信里面的话,
还好我们没有用同一句,要不然老师会以为我们隔空作弊==
不过,
蔚用的那句话,让我偷笑了一下
哈哈哈~
为什么?
我不说:P

快乐就这么简单:)

老师今天向我施压了,
看来要呕出一份报告完成我们共同的理想了:)
所以今天本小姐也上来了。。
只是找资料找到有点累,
才来这里继续打

明天或后天应该可以去找老师‘沟通沟通’了:)

考完后也是时候开几个会议讨论the nearest future了
Just hope that nothing will go wrong on the last day...
hope that I won't regret what I decide to do 
hope that everything will turn out just as I thought it would ...
Just do my best 
and hope for the best..

别忘了还有大考:)
加油^^
何必为了路边一株枯萎的野草而烦恼呢?
浇了水,施了肥,
还是枯萎的话,就由它身边别的野草让他振作起来
我现在是时候,照顾那颗大树和那片玫瑰园了:)
我当时会在继续施肥的原因纯粹是因为太多的野草要开始枯萎了
我不会后悔我做出的选择

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

9月18日~~

考美术考到很兴奋
xD
第一节画4个格
第二节画4个格
最后一节勾线和上色
超紧迫的时间
到最后。。
不过不是我一个人差一点画不完而已哟
lulu也是==
but then我们虽然一起涂,我还是比较慢TT
noob画得超美。。
还比我们快一点点

情节(满意)
画画(满意)
勾线(还能接受)
上色(烂)

LOLLLL
TT

哈哈
不过讲真的。。
我觉得我的故事还不错:)
一个被流氓追打的人最终
因为口香糖而吹了泡泡
飞上天
逃离场面
Wrigley's。。让你起死回生的口香糖:D

我的小癸回来了
^^
真的很为他感到骄傲。。
打下那几行字sen给他们的时候。。
心里的满足感难以形容。。
小癸,欢迎你回来:)
我永远都会在这里。。
永远都会。。。
不管情况多糟糕都好
。。。。。
一日做我队员,终生就是我队员:)

二下。。
我失败了:(...
失败在我没办法触碰他的心。。
我开不了。。
对不起。。。
给我一点时间。。
我暂时还没办法
撬开他的心。。
我没办法实现我的承诺。。
对不起。。

今天。。
一个失败,一个成功
我应该开心? :)

哈哈今天收到了一封信
大家都同意写回去
虽然我觉得我没有什么必要
因为我告诉他的
他都记得了
还记得很清楚
不过当然
礼尚往来
我当然会回信啦^^

今天mandy给了我一盒月饼
咖啡和莲蓉^v^
口福到极点xDD
还没试过:O
lulu看到之后,
眼睛Bling 料几下
直接hyper ==
我其实也没差别xDD
noob好一点
不过也是有威胁我如果不要给她吃
就不借我作业纸=w=
(虽然到最后还是借)

garfield上个星期折了一朵玫瑰送我
也祝你考试加油!^v^

今天听到了一个关于我的传言
讲真的
蛮好笑的xD
xDDD

明天考大考,
姑姑姑丈表弟在我家
 oops...physics eclass还在做着。。

考试加油哦~
整年来学到的东西。。
就看明天了。。
明天之后的2个星期
决定我的明年。。
pressure快点滚过来。。
我要快点专注!。。。

哭泣的人类。。
伤心的人类。。
不要哭了:)...
放宽自己的心
别老是盯着小污点不放。。
你会忘记你在看着一片彩虹

Monday, September 17, 2012

9月17日~~

Extra day of holiday = extra TWO days of hw...
一整天窝在家里。。
只为了完成功课。。(到现在还没做完)
aikz..
以后不要在拖功课了:(
没的读书~
天~
亲爱的我。。
要好好加油咯。。
大家大考加油:)

every decision I make ...
gets harder..
and harder..
as time goes bye.....

but too late to bow down...
chin up ..
smiles away..
and I'm all ready to go :)

sometimes
I dream too much....
so .. 
I might get a 'little' disappointed if things don't go my way
heard a lot yesterday..
thanks for all those suggestions :)

Today's Song
The piano guys
五月天



谢谢你想起我:)....

Saturday, September 15, 2012

9月15日~~

一个由一堆开心,random的小事,所拼凑出完美的一天 :)

早上练我的drama :D..练drama 总是峰巅@@
反正形象指数也不会高到哪里去,基本上我也没有怎样介意拉=w=
偶尔给几个别班的人看到。。
哈哈哈。。
他们会冷掉,接着慢慢微笑,接着就是。。。冷笑....
很自然的我会蛮特地的说,去逗他们。。
哈哈哈哈哈 因为我觉得他们笑得时候很好笑啊xD
Mandy那条鱼还没游回班就游过来我班 送便当给我awww.... so sweet:) damn nice de bian dang:').. Thanks a lot.. lighten up my day.. :D
昨天和今天的第一节我都在一心两用
背我的稿~
可是不一样的是,昨天和今天的台词相比之下
昨天的比较多,今天的比较少。。
不过我就是一直忘记O.O!
gg.com
昨天和今天不一样的是
我今天也一直笑场=w=
。。到最后我还说了一句
Oh My God!! Why am I smiling?! I should be Scared!!!
*笑脸换怕脸*
LOL!!
那几个男生也演到我很想打他们=w=
今天也发现这个drama 不是comedy也不是black comedy..
是melodrama .... LOOOLLLL到极点!!
开心死我的早晨=D...
我也录了起来~
不知道开到的时候我会是什么反应。。
:O...
noob告诉我我的一些情节的表情。。。
是one-of-a-kind...LOLL~
谢谢你们对我们的好评:DD
Entertaining All of You Is My Pleasure :D

free period就这样过了。。
还好之后还有一个free period..没有老师进班wow~
昨天前天没有用电脑上网。。
所以没有讲到~
前两天。。讲料要做到12点的。。
结果?!!?!
竟然在11点多睡死在我家沙发~
我本来只想小睡片刻
结果。。
直接到第二天早上
悲哀说~

昨天放学
我点完卫生的时候,一如往常大部分的人都走了。。
那时Bobo经过我,讲了一声charlie..
我的眼睛。。变到>> O.O
她怎么知道
我还以为我听错了。。
她又说,你最爱的charlie...
SHIT!!
她问我是不是charlie chaplin..
吼!当然不是啦!~
她所谓我‘最爱’的charlie可不是他叻!
我跟她说是。。charlie the unicorn
......
= =
千万不要去看!!
dark side of youtube xDDDDD
看了后,你会问自己,为什么会去点击它shit 到==
回到班后我终于知道为什么她会说了。。
noob用了我的bobo and babbo co.赠送的‘辛’辣面
在我的桌上拼凑成大大的'U LOVE CHARLIE'这几个字
 我还以为lulu也有份,回去后,还特地sms他们
i hate charlie ==

下课的时候
帮依学庆祝生日=D
话说我N年没有进文忠了=w=
进去也是巡岗~
今天为了依学空出时间:D
(不客气~)
兴奋兴奋
果然。。
如他们所说的。。
整个课室=森林       =w=
依学也干吞料整个milo粉。。aikz..我太看不起她了。。
一包对她来说,不够xDD

二下,欣慰两个字~
:) 萌然从我心中出现
放了一半的心~

SHIT拿到冠军!!
OMGOMGOMG!!!
去祝贺他
还在fb给了他小小礼物x)
之后再继续打吧。。小小礼物弄着。。xP

刚回来了~
ahem..看回今天的drama录影
我发现。。
我超级淫==
忘词忘到有点过分x)
不过。。
他们也很不给面子的笑了我TT
LOLLxDDD
but then看回去
如果我是观众我会是爆笑得那个
因为我一面看一面笑
看了video3次。。
3次都在lord septic(振杰)淫笑的时候,
我不小心笑了出来xD
3次我在我忘词同学笑的地方一起笑
3次我在很多地方笑了出来xDDD
哈哈哈哈哈哈~
蠢事多到爆!

傍晚
听到了恋爱-ing这首歌
哈哈。。
我想到了这首歌曾经带给我的快乐。。
不,不是曾经。。
至今依旧带给我快乐:)
还好没有听到穷开心
要不然我会兴奋到爆点==
会不大好~。。

today's song:
Train- Drive By(mcm always the same =w=)

\
hope that the lock will be opened in those hearts
that are once broken and patched ..
Smile, because you will never know whose heart is torn apart
and needs your help to patch up :)


A smile is not meant to cover up your own sorrows ...
but is used to beat off sorrows from others ..
and build up smiles on their faces..
even if it meant to bury your own sorrows by yourself :)



坦白说
留下来的原因
我至今仍然不知道。。。
不过
原因。。
对我来说
已经不重要了:)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

9月13日~~

回到家了~
又一件事complete :)
电脑上面的notes终于可以删掉一个进度流程了:)
接下来。。明天的drama...
进攻咯:)
我饰演盲人rose :O..
hahaha..镇杰很认真地说,不要男扮女,女扮男D;
以为可以做percy.. 变成他做了。。
but anyway.. :D...
我们很macam的啦~x)...nvm..忘了和他们约时间。。
ok..约了~
健忘症依然没有离开我的身边
aikz..
所以团簿用那么快~
but then不懂为什么。。
又懒惰写记事簿~
搞到自己常忘记东西zzzz...
同一样东西。。要写那么多次==

今天补习,27度和chatime来了~
之前他们夸张到整个pizza 买上来吃~
现在好一点了。。
phew..要不然不懂要怎么忍受pizza的香味? 
呵呵~
27度,够力,melissa一插straw,walao..香味出来料=w=..
chatime在我左边,27度在我右边,呵呵口福也~

今晚可以早睡?期待可以:)....
不过目前好像不到12点,不能睡aikz...
等星期六吧~
还好星期一没有上课,本小姐要读书!!!!!
不要物理整年只及格一次TT
sad case到极点~

index,..考得不错嘛。。
虽然老师迟到够力才进班(强强不知道我们换回来了oh no ~)
but then,.. 
还是做完检查完:)
我觉得我发神经了,index的练习题,我一题一题做。。
woah!! :O..我物理还是当天才做习题的,
这个我还前一天拼命做。。
aikz..有问题的人类。。。

明天体育尝试和drama..加油:)...
大家大考加油:DD

又被发现了这个blog.==
那么容易找到?!:(...
不过都隐瞒了2年。。
也是时候了?。。。。

Today;s Song:
Freedom Song-- Jason Mraz

哈哈今天蔚叫我不要开fb..
听了后我笑了x)..

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

9月12日~~

又来一个。。
不眠的夜晚。。

开心的是~
在我的纠缠之下,老师终于说了一句
我们再看吧~
哈哈哈
我很不sek do...
老师很明显很忙= =
我却在那里争取到底
有点衰的说~

有点no mood讲话~
so大概讲下一些重点中的重点。。

今天考华文
明天考index

明天学会活动。。
期待吧~

Drama道具我尽量吐出来

日本交流的照片
明天申请了带相机:)<一下空了出来~
有点不方便。。
不过没关系:)

处理团务当中~
父母不要再抓到我现在还很清醒动电脑。。:O..
要不然我gg.com...

11.19pm
暂时。。这是一个没有音乐的夜晚。。


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

9月11日~~

突然觉得这几天我的思想很幼稚。。。~
哈哈~
我被限制在一个小框框里~
一直逃不出来~。。
不被谁限制。。
而是被自己限制了自己~

今天
进了训育处。。
我逃出了自己的小框框。。
重要的事情还有很多:)
我可以做到更多~
何必为了这种事情想那么多?:)
前几天~
我忽略了自己~
每天来学校的意义~
飘着过每一天~
却没办法完成任何一样东西~
为此感到羞愧~
眼光无法放大~

如果给朋友们知道~
我踩进训育处对我的影响竟然是那么的深远~
肯定。。
他们笑惨我= =
相信自己~
我可以很好:)

信心~
我感觉不到你离开我~
但是如今。。
我感觉到你。。
一步一步地走向我:)


of course I can
:')
even without the tear.. I still can
:)


It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever

Today's Song:
Destiny's Child songs
Katy Perry -- Wide Awake, Firework


亲爱的灵魂之窗。。
请你快快好起来。。:)..
不要被医生吓倒..





Monday, September 10, 2012

9月10日~~

okay.. i feel like it is getting to be a habit of me to
keep posting things on blogger.com
not a good symptom =/ ...

Have been trying to contain my temper all day.
It started out bad, getting better, and got worse, and got better, and then, blew me off the top
this is my mood-o-meter in school
and then when i reach home..
it's quite okay..
since.. i just got from calm to intense to disappointed to nervous..
If this goes on..
I might end up to be a very emotionally unbalance person =/

But the good thing is,
I finally got hold of myself again :)
haha I know what I want
I am never letting anyone change who I am
just because of who they want me to be
I am not just anyone's play toy
I am me :)
I am not going to write anything about those stuff

Anyhow..
Going to send the email to the Japanese later today
and find props for my play
finish up my art homework
Finish up ALL my homework
Try to study for my tests
etc. (and do some other stuff)
and then ..
try to go to sleep on time.. as in
before 12am (Which I've been craving for ever since two months ago)
Keep sleeping at 1am (these few weeks)
and I am not getting any stronger.
But i can still keep hold of myself.

But I am proud to say that tiredness
wears me out
and allows me to sleep without anything on my mind..
:)
good thing
very very good thing. . ^^


9月9日~~

写了日本交流的email了~
写完后发现有一点小长
一段写我的兴奋
一段回答她的group message
一段大略说出马来西亚
一段问她关于她组员的事情
一段告诉她我以后要些什么
另加两张图画。。。
waoh :O..因为我真的很兴奋xD
想到1031就很兴奋~

哈哈
今天理忠的人很不自觉地把我拉了回来
因为提了考试
提了日本交流
提了play
提了很多东西:)..
所以。。我回来了^^
THE GIRL IS IN THE HOUSE !! BOOM BABE xD
他们也提醒了我关于那两个
PMR期间我要去+办的旅行hohoho~...
棒呆了^^
看了mobbed这套live show.. :)
我觉得。。
如果我以后也能做到这样
带给大家快乐。。
那该有多好:D
我一定一定会想办法。。
让自己。。
起码有那么一点点的伟大:P
一点就好了
我不是贪心的女生,呵呵==



我依然无法完全脱身出来~
跟了一个人抽象的说出我的问题。。
真的
很感谢他:)
起码他开导了我。。
让我知道。。
我可以在意,但也要学会释怀~
呵呵~释怀?没人这样告诉过我。。
我会让我自己释怀~
因为。。
释怀不代表放弃:)..


thanks :)..
that really means a lot to me :)

你总是有办法。。
让我在没有说出来的情况下,
给我解答。。
告诉我,我可以做到:)
谢谢你:)

Saturday, September 8, 2012

9月8日~~

日本交流名单已经出炉了^^
兴奋兴奋兴奋xDD

今天的chemis..考得不太好。。
是时候加油了。。
加油:)

今天终于是星期六。。
我允许自己。。。
作一次坏人。。
翘了一趟芭蕾课。。
睡觉。。。
我真的很不对。。
但是。。
i can't help it...
:(..
妈又拼命说服我不要去==
我就只好认命咯^^


有些东西就是那么的神奇。。
一点点的快乐可以让自己暂时忘记,一切不想记起的东西
一点点地悲伤却也可以让自己暂时忘记,一切想记起的东西。。

所以说一切都交给了命运决定事情发生的顺序。。
但是。。
心情依然由我们自己决定。。
Although Destiny control the path that we are going to move on with
We are still the only one who control the way we react to them :)


加油~
大家

希望我不要再得此失彼了。。
Stay Strong


Today's Song:
Yiruma's Playlist... 
 :')
thanks.. they are all very beautiful..


该面对不想面对的事实了。。
麻痹自己的时光。。
是时候结束了
是时候从自己编织出来的梦苏醒了。。
:')...
我可以微笑面对么?
我可以逃避那些令人觉得自己很脆弱的想法么?
我今天什么都不想做。。
只想。。
给自己放肆的一次机会。。
我不想再写了。。:)
再写下去。。
我恐怕。。
承受不料咯.. :')

如果你们有机会看到我的团簿
大概就能够知道。。我多么在意你们
每一位你们


心痛的是我。。


没办法。。。。。




:')
我还好。。
你们呢?

谢谢你,贤。。
谢谢你。。

不写了晚安


Friday, September 7, 2012

9月7日~~

terrible mood
red eyes

but still amazed by how random things
can actually make me feel better

much better

i'm actually half smiling now ...




9月6日~~

结束了
一切都结束了。。

很不舍地说了。。散会。。
那种feel..哈哈。。
有点难以形容:)
我会尽量出席那个nike run的。。
毕竟我已经错过了和你们的义山行。。
但是。。
一样的问题。。
我父母不知道给不给。。
oni中华行我才能参与。。
其他的我都没机会参与。。

PS.. darn anim8tor :(..

累了
偶尔停下脚步
回头看一下
看看自己的成长
自豪感,
重新体会过一切酸甜苦辣
一切如此地虚幻,虚幻得像电影却是真实
满意了,再继续往前昂首走

爬也要爬着过。。
加油~!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

9月4日~~

吃完晚餐阵亡了2个小时。。
OH my god~..

anim8tor 加油。。
现在。。时间。。1.03am..
但是对我说整个11点pm 酱==。。

处理了一些团务也做完了那个强强教到特快的index习题。。

夜猫们。。加油:)..

Monday, September 3, 2012

9月3日~~

Had a little chit chat with someone..
i agree..
a little sorry, or a thank you can truly change the awkward mood .. :)

Made Roses for roses..
and slept at 3.30am just to make those .. and a birthday card..
i wanted to make a rose ice cream..
but..
no more.. energy left in it...
or at least .. there is ..
but the conscious in me..
kept telling me to remember to SLEEP!..
hahaha...
try doing anim8tor on my laptop..
which.. is NO good at all..
before i even got the chance to change anything..
the whole thing not responding..
so .. i used my bro's laptop instead..
hahahahaha..
lag noob shit computer X)..

to someone who needs a shoulder to lean on...
sorry.. i had to do this..
i don't mean to be late :(..
got something that caught up my sleeve suddenly..
so i gotta settle it soon.. ><...
i promise that i'll call u as soon as possible..
good luck in ur exams :)


11.31pm... feeling tired... yet...
i must stay strong :)... according to lulu :).. who found my blog..



saw a quote on fb

The more I run,
The more I love my body.
Not because it's perfect,
far from it,
but because with every mile,
It is proving to me
that I am capable
more than i ever thought possible


yes, i agree :)...
i agree 200%...

Saturday, September 1, 2012

9月1日~~

Everyday is a new day
Everyday is a start of a new chapter in your life
每一天都是一个新的开始。。
每一天都是你生命之旅新的一章的第一面

830对我来说。是一场梦
一场很梦幻很梦幻的梦

今天在我踏入校园的那一刻
我必须醒来:)
因为今天是崭新的一天。。
一切依然归零重新计算。。

但是我却不后悔
一点也不。。

to someone i care..      a lot
words can't describe when i didn't see you there
all you left me ..
was 'that'...
I felt like.. i lost..
i really did lost..
so.. to punished me.... and you ...
i gave you ..
what i gave you today ...
i hope you know what you are actually seeking for :)
freedom? or a chance to change ?
everything falls onto your choice :) ...
so what's yours?
i'll wait...
for your answer..
in one week time..
i hope ..
that you know what you want ...
and stop running away from the mistakes you made the past few months
you are a very very amazing person..
but the problem is.. like everyone else i've known..
you have no idea.. what you are capable of..
that letter...
that very very long letter that i hope you didn't tear apart
to you ..
and my gift to you ..
represents a whole new start for you ..
i hope .... and i really do hope..
that you do your every best in any choice you made
even if ... i don't like the answer ...
I will still support you .. and do everything i can ..
to make it work for you :)
...
once a precious person, always a precious person...
...
I am right behind you ;).. so don't be afraid
....to look back..
:)

to someone whom i wish to help...
you are facing that problem..
which practically everyone faces in another stage of life..
But you seriously have to know that..
I can only give you tips and suggestions
and only you yourself have the key to the answer..
which depends on ... which ever lock you want to open...
when everyone of them seems to look the same.. yet
containing different mysterious things
like .. the pandora box..
you will never know the answer..
if you don't try..
i can only guide you..
but i can't do anything to help you :)
sooner or later..
you will know this :
打破规则的人固然是垃圾,
但是放弃自己的同伴是连垃圾都不如的垃圾
this may be a quote from naruto that everyone knows..
but not everyone follows..
even if they did..
they either end up getting scolded
or end up getting all of them in trouble
so...
i hope you received my 'mms message'(<< which means a very super duper long message)
and try to forgive yourself..

even though you are right..
......
you might be wrong at the same timg :)

so ..
do the right thing at the right time..
if there are no right things at the moment
and you will get in trouble no matter what..
well... settle on the choice which you think
is right ...
be true to your heart :)...
never do anything against your nature..
never let anything .. change you .. because..
you are who you are ... :)

to someone who don't know that he/she has a choice 
You must know just because you don't know you have a choice
doesn't mean i don't know..
trust me on this one..
i won't do anything that will hurt you.. or will possibly hurt you indirectly
there is no right for a person to be treated like that..
you are a kind hearted person..
you really are ...
but seriously.....
sometimes.. once in a while
you just have to stand up for yourself
don't be afraid to speak out..
what you think is wrong ..
what they did to you .. is called abusing..
and ... in my opinion..
it is emotional abuse and sexual abuse..
although the sexual part ain't really serious..
but ..that person...
HAS to be taught how to spell the word' manners'
and the word'gentleman' :)
if you don't know how to teach..
well.. let me do it... :)
i will do it..
without hurting you ...
and IF possible that person..
(but i really do wish that person gets punished... no .... not because of what that person did... but to change that person's future.. which by the way.. at the current situation .. amounted as zero opportunity and zero bright future :).. sorry ..to say it so directly .. )
thank god.. i kept stopping my urge to slap that person ..
if i were to stop that person..
i will do it with the right and proper way ..
if not.. well... .... that person will still have to be taught to be a better person..

to someone who needs a shoulder to lean on ..
i am so sorry i can't make it today..
i promise..
 i will be there for you ..
forever..
wait for me...
i'll be there for you and only you on Monday ...



sorry for such an awkward blog post..
i have to say it out..
i can't hold it in too long..
:)...


today;s songs :
Drive By... Train

微笑的海豚:) 830

哈哈哈。。
就这样。。
一个月半过了。。。

统测之前的一个星期做到昨天~
呵呵~
各位。。
你们经历了多少个不眠的夜晚?
还是你们跟本没算
还是这些已经对你们来说都不重要了。。。

昨天。。
我真的哭了:)
不过。。我只能说
这个欢送会的成功之处
就在于
我竟然是笑着哭~:')
效果
终于如我想象中的一样了。。

当时给愉洁‘讲’作莫我跟他们的宣誓纸不一样?!
你快点去处理它要不然你就知道。。。
那时候。。
我真的真的觉得很幸福
因为
他们想珍惜
就这么一张小小张的纸
原来真的可以打动他们
宣誓未来也要和现在一样的坚持,一样的豁出去
:))
谢谢你们。。
我不知道未来没有你们
还会不会习惯
只认识你们4年
却好像一辈子:)
真的
这次的欢送会
我除了说。。
成功,
我也能说。。
特别:)
并没有豪华的灯光
也没有复杂的设计
纯粹的用心体会

首先请你们一定要知道把心情感受文字化,有点难度,不过在以下的post我会想办法让你们感受我的感受:)

到现在我还是不知道哪一个比较感动?高三学长对于高三欢送会的回应,还是筹委的坚持,跌倒后一起爬起来的感觉。。

照片最神奇的地方就是能把最美丽的瞬间化为永恒的回忆

我很喜欢那张照片。。那张cover照片,不为什么,就因为大家脸上最千扁的笑容,最热血的心情都不小心被拍下来了,而拍下来的初衷只是因为想跳起来把所有的快乐,荣誉,幸福在那一刻表露出来,而不是为了在面子书post一张让人觉得羡慕,让人觉得超yeng,让自己获得无数个like ..的照片。。。那一瞬间。。那跳起来的一瞬间。。我觉得。。自己很幸福很幸福很幸福。。。很幸运认识了你们,进了这个团我没有意思的悔意,认识你们。。除了幸福。。我真的没有别的话可以说了:)

熬夜这首歌再适合不过了,熬过了多少夜?勉强地让自己睁开眼睛多少堂课?偷偷哭过多少?笑过多少?大家自己都知道。。最终的目标,不是为了让上面的人满意,也不是为了顺利,都为了让这次的欢送会难忘到他们几年后出社会都会记得,让大家永远记得他们,

将我们的最好献给你:)

谢谢你们的配合,谢谢你们的坚持,谢谢你们的振作,真的真的。。。
非常谢谢你们。。
万分的谢谢你们。。
我答应,在我最伤心,最低落的时候,
都回忆起这一刻,
这一刻的荣誉,
这一刻的骄傲,
这一刻的勇气,
这一刻的坚持,
这一刻的幸福,
这一刻的兴奋,
这一刻的希望。。。

希望你们也能够:)

还记得海豚的故事吗?


每一天,他们都在咸咸的海里,痴痴地看着一对又一对上岸的人们
曾经的他们多么渴望能够碰到天,向世界证明自己:我跟其他人是不同的!
可实际上他们甚至无法离开水面
于是,大家都劝告他们:认命是一种美德,混日子是一种生活方式,在受到冷言冷语打击的时候,                            
 在被环境狠狠逼迫的时候,他们将自己沉入无人看见的海底深处。
流完了一整夜的泪以后,他们带着因挫折而变得更坚强的意志,再次划动着身躯,日复一日为渴望
的目标,而努力着
终于这一份的自我肯定,在历经五年多的磨练以后。他们跳出了海面,跳出了鱼儿们的惯例,也跳
  出了别人赋予的框框。
现在的他们虽然也许还无法碰到天,但相信未来终有一日他们能够再次向我们展露世界上最耀
 眼的,光荣的微笑。
现在我们终于明白,原来,有一种微笑叫做
海豚的微笑


大家就是里面的主角

眼泪也终于微笑了:')

期待我们的欢送会。。
I will be back... I promise..

等一下再update每一个欢送会的情节。。现在只是情感篇:)