9月16日

4.53pm 

My notice period got extended to 31st Dec. 

It is indeed what I offered but I honestly was mentally prepared for an early release. 

The reaction I got from my colleagues were immediately "hey here's the work you're 'supposed' to do"

I was asked if I regretted offering an extension. 

I said "a little, but I know it was the right thing". Now i am mentally calculating down the days that I have clear to get out. 

Sad isnt it? The state of the company i am in. 

And it is just a "waste" because I really did believe in it. What i was doing and what can be done. 

Yet today i'm merely a "police" and a "secretary"

9月11日

4.27pm

Motherhood made me simultaneously more conservative and bold. 

9月9日~~

8.54am

I resigned yesterday. On email at 4pm, and later in a letter at 9pm

Strange because at this moment I'm thinking what would come first? Finishing this new book i started (the Dream Hotel) or getting my last date finalised?

Work didnt stop immediately. 

I continued to work on decks and take only to have resigned somewhere in between emails. 

Strange how I was only offered to hire a junior last friday, today I was promoted in status for teams channel from the departure of yet another colleague... and yesterday I resigned. 

No one knows and I savour the secret that only I and a handful of other holds. 

But when the time comes, would I let the rumour spread? Or would i take the opportunity to clear my name if it is dragged through the mud? 

9月7日~~

10.14pm

Taking risks as a working mom is scary as heck. 

Taking 2 steps back because I know it will only propel me further to where I can be. 

Call me stubborn 

call me mad. 

I will be resigning tomorrow from a job that brings in good money, good hours and a boss thay trusts me. but it bores me and what used to be exposure I now treat as mundane administration. 

And then the clock starts for a new beginning. 

Scary but alive. 

Is it the right time? It has to be. 

9月6日~~

3.23am 

Had to excuse myself

Got a bad cough for the past 2 weeks. Strangely long. 

Anyway 

My baby boy doesnt know how to speak, but he knows how to communicate to figure out if i am still there. 

each time I leave the room, he will say "uh" every 3 seconds to see if I respond. If I no longer do, it means I am no longer near him. 

So to every "uh" I would say something like "hmm?" "Hang?" and "mama"

Everytime I come back he would stand facing towards the direction i left. And it doesnt matter where I was he figures out which was the last time he sees me and pulls himself up to wait for me to come back. 

Gosh the little things.