7月31日~~

10.34pm

My body clock cant cope with post 8pm work after having a child. 

Ive been on a 5.40am routine. Meaning i get tired very easily after putting my baby boy to sleep

I wonder if I will ever find a job that is as easy as this where I only ever occasionally need to work after hours.

7月21日~~

5.14pm

很少被老板骂

有时候听起来有道理

可是又好像不是很公平

How should I know what i didnt know?

还没领悟到的东西只能通过别人的feedback或犯错后学习呀

不顶嘴，只能默默对总裁说对不起，反复咀嚼自己的过错，试问自己下次怎么能改进，最后吞下委屈

7月4日~~

8.50am

To be loved is to be seen

Thats what I felt after buying presents this year

Its not how long it takes for me to make it 

Because honestly buying some of these takes barely 20 minutes. 

People buy feelings .. not features..  

An idea sparked in me. I shared with KY my thoughts. Could this be my side gig?

7月2日~~

5.04pm

About to say no to an opportunity I have been waiting on. 

The expectation on work life integration written in black and white has proven too much for me. 

But perhaps I've always known that it was too much for me. That this "lifestyle" no longer fits what I want. Just because I could survive it doesnt mean I want it.

Knowing im not the right fit for the culture. Is shocking to me. 

But also grieving for the woman ive lost and being surprised at the women ive become is so different. 

6月24日~~

4.55pm

Working on a grab while the weather gets dark outside 

Chill music plays on the grab. 

Im suddenly transported back to when I was still a young consultant.

Travelling between work and hotel. Non stop working. Trying to enjoy and be present for the little things when I could. 

6月9日

8.38am

The thing that annoys me the most is writing minutes. I either do it right or don't do it. 

And I cant not do the right thing

But at the same time it is so painful and takes so long to synthesise. (At times it feels as long as the meeting!)

And each time I do it i start looking at ways to leave the company lol. 

Thankful for chatgpt that consoles me

5月24日~~

8.19pm

Some days are particularly hard for no reason

This is one of them

I should start tattooing across my arm to bite my lip

Because I will build up resentment regardless anyway

Might as well be only one person that suffers

And I have a lot and I feel it too. 

I feel like a little ticking time bomb in me that is accelerated through the lack of sleep 

I am exhausted mentally physically 

I feel so alone

On a different note yee yan sang whisky stinks